Friday morning arrived, and with it came rain. Not just a little shower or a drizzle. Torrential rain. It was chucking it down. My alarm went off signalling it was time to leap out of bed to go for my run. My body and mind were both unconvinced about going for a run in the rain, as in I stayed in bed listening to the rain for over an hour hoping it would stop. It didn’t.
I decided that if the rain hadn’t stopped by 6pm I would go to the gym instead of out for a run. (I’m a total fair weather runner, who would like the weather to be perfect when I run!) that would give me enough time to do a run/workout and be back in time to watch the football!
It rained most of the day but as luck would have it, it had stopped and was starting to dry up by 6pm. So I got ready to head out on my run, waiting a little longer to make sure my tea had gone down and off I went. Some of the pavements were a little slippy to start with and I had to contend with passing a dead rabbit or hare (I tried not to look at it) twice. I felt ok and ran 1 mile and then stopped. I have no idea why I stopped. My legs felt heavy but I could probably have run further. I had words with myself, walked for a few minutes and then ran for another 0.6 miles.
By the time I got home I looked like a tomato (it didn’t help that I had on my red top), I was so hot and I was sweating buckets – I can confirm that boob sweat is definitely a thing. (lovely image there!) but I was pleased that I had done an extra 0.6 miles. My reward was a cup of tea and a night of watching the football. Perfect.
Fast forward to Sunday morning. I really wanted to go out and do 2 miles of running. It would be the furthest I have every run. And possibly a step too far at this point.
I woke up, got myself ready, had some water and set my watch to find a gps signal. I should’ve known my run wasn’t going to go to plan when I had to walk up and down my road before it found my location. I then set off on my run. I felt myself running too fast to start with (I blame Sir Duke by Stevie Wonder) but couldn’t seem to slow down for at least a couple of minutes. I’m pretty sure that this didn’t do me any favours at all.
By the time I had run 0.75 miles I was struggling and had felt like I was going to be sick since 0.25 miles. I had words with myself and to,d myself not to give up and to run to at least a mile. I was at the top of a slight incline and could see another runner in the distance coming towards me followed by 3 others running together. I was determined to run past them no matter what! The first man smiled and said hello to me, I smiled (possibly grimaced) back and said hello to him. The others just ran past looking like they were having to put in no effort at all. I somehow, just about, ran 1.5 miles without stopping to walk.
I walked home, sat down and rather than being happy I had run 1.5 miles without walking, I was so disappointed that I hadn’t been able to do 2 miles. I am definitely my own worst critic and too hard on myself. I even had a little cry because I had a total ‘I cannot run a half marathon’ moment. I felt like what I had done today wasn’t good enough. I wasn’t good enough.
I know how silly this sounds when I still have lots of training time and considering how far I have come already. I think I was just having one of those days.
I’m going out on another run tomorrow morning. No crying this time. After all I’m out there doing it and I’m doing ok. I want to enjoy running. I don’t want to cry.
I think running past 1.5 miles is more a mental than physical thing. I just hope I can push past everything I feel when I get close to 1.5 miles.
I made myself a list of things to tell myself when I need a boost. I got this idea from the lovely Joanna Barlow on Twitter. I really hope it helps.
Happy running lovelies.
Thank you for reading all of my rambles.
K x
I’m raising money for The Matt Hampson Foundation by taking part in 2016 Adidas Silverstone Half Marathon. If you would like to sponsor me visit www.virginmoneygiving.com/KimberleyMiles
To find out more about the Matt Hampson Foundation please visit: http://matthampsonfoundation.org/
getupoffathatcouch 
Oh no! Please don’t be so hard on yourself! You’re doing brilliantly. Can you allow yourself to walk sometimes? It’s just as important to just get out there and get some “time on your feet” as it is to keep running continuously. Crying is okay 🙂 but being harsh with yourself isn’t…. I agree with your list. Especially “Be proud of everything you achieve”. There was a time when you couldn’t do what you’re doing now. Tomorrow will be better 🙂
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Thank you lovely. normally I can see the positives and be proud of what I have done but yesterday for some reason it made me cry.
I think that’s that I’m going to do. include some walking, get to 2 miles so my brain realises it’s not so bad!
thank you for your lovely comments on each of my posts and for being so supportive xx
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I’m really not an expert. But I’ve been told it’s as much about getting out there, in whatever form, as completing it all without stopping. This morning, I stopped a couple of times just to take in the view, and stop my calves screaming (it was a tad hillier than I’m used to!) but I still feel glad I went out. I think it’s so easy to beat yourself up about what you can’t do, and sometimes we need people to remind us what we can do, and how far we’ve come 🙂
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it does feel good getting out there. I do wish I had somewhere to run where there was a view! Very, very true about looking at how far we have come. thank you xx
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Hills, well slight inclines are not my friend!!
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ha! same 🙂
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Here is a true thing that you may not know…. I’ve experienced it and I’ve seen it a cross country races with the girls. Sometimes some kind of hormones or something (not a scientist here) get released, and it makes females cry or feel like crying after running. It happens to me ALL the time. In fact, don’t laugh but every single morning!
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running is so much more emotional than I ever realised. I think it’s that pushing yourself to do something you haven’t done before. it can make you incredibly happy or cry! thank you lovely xx
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Running can totally feel emotional at times because you are on a journey of sorts and there are bound to be ups and downs. When you start to feel down on yourself just remind yourself of how far you have come already and be proud of that. I’d love to be able to just run that half marathon effortlessly without any training, but we both know thats not how it works. It’s a process and often a very slow one. So when you need that boost to keep you going, look back on where you have been. You are smashing goals you probably thought were impossible a few months ago, and you’ll continue to smash them right up until you cross that half marathon finish line i’m sure! Also, well done on the 1.5 miles – I struggle to run continuously still without walk breaks so I understand what a great achievement that is 🙂 Well done!
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thank you so much for this lovely comment. I don’t think I ever imagined running would be this emotional, but I guess when you are pushing to achieve things you wouldn’t normally dream of doing emotions play s big role.
I will definitely try and look at how far I have come and think look at what you can do now rather than look at what you need to do!
thank you xx
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Why not try running for 1 mile then Walk for a few minutes to recover then run another mile…if you can do that a couple of times I would then try the 2 miles in one go at the end of the week. Don’t put yourself under pressure at this stage… you will get there. I wasnt running 2 miles on couch 2 5km untill end of week 6. Also don’t get hung up on mileage… just got out and say I’m going to run for 20mins and see how far you get..then increase it to 22 mins and so on… if you cry it just shows how much you care about it xx
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Thank you lovely!! I did exactly that today and it really helped! I’m going to do that the rest of his week and try to run a little further each time.
I did 2 miles today with a run for the first mile and then a combo of run/walk for the second mile. I was so proud! No tears today!
how is your running going? xx
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Did another 10 miles yesterday, although I walked more than I did the week before….but it was hotter weather. We’re away this weekend for the belgium gp so probably won’t get a run in this weekend…which means it’s just 2 more long runs before race day…eeekk!! Going for a preholiday 10km tomorrow so going to make it count I hope x
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wow!! 10 miles is amazing!! it has been quite hot recently which doesn’t help with running! Enjoy the GP and don’t worry about not running. You are going to do fabulously on race day! I know it xx
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