Friday morning arrived, and with it came rain. Not just a little shower or a drizzle. Torrential rain. It was chucking it down. My alarm went off signalling it was time to leap out of bed to go for my run. My body and mind were both unconvinced about going for a run in the rain, as in I stayed in bed listening to the rain for over an hour hoping it would stop. It didn’t.
I decided that if the rain hadn’t stopped by 6pm I would go to the gym instead of out for a run. (I’m a total fair weather runner, who would like the weather to be perfect when I run!) that would give me enough time to do a run/workout and be back in time to watch the football!
It rained most of the day but as luck would have it, it had stopped and was starting to dry up by 6pm. So I got ready to head out on my run, waiting a little longer to make sure my tea had gone down and off I went. Some of the pavements were a little slippy to start with and I had to contend with passing a dead rabbit or hare (I tried not to look at it) twice. I felt ok and ran 1 mile and then stopped. I have no idea why I stopped. My legs felt heavy but I could probably have run further. I had words with myself, walked for a few minutes and then ran for another 0.6 miles.
By the time I got home I looked like a tomato (it didn’t help that I had on my red top), I was so hot and I was sweating buckets – I can confirm that boob sweat is definitely a thing. (lovely image there!) but I was pleased that I had done an extra 0.6 miles. My reward was a cup of tea and a night of watching the football. Perfect.
Fast forward to Sunday morning. I really wanted to go out and do 2 miles of running. It would be the furthest I have every run. And possibly a step too far at this point.
I woke up, got myself ready, had some water and set my watch to find a gps signal. I should’ve known my run wasn’t going to go to plan when I had to walk up and down my road before it found my location. I then set off on my run. I felt myself running too fast to start with (I blame Sir Duke by Stevie Wonder) but couldn’t seem to slow down for at least a couple of minutes. I’m pretty sure that this didn’t do me any favours at all.
By the time I had run 0.75 miles I was struggling and had felt like I was going to be sick since 0.25 miles. I had words with myself and to,d myself not to give up and to run to at least a mile. I was at the top of a slight incline and could see another runner in the distance coming towards me followed by 3 others running together. I was determined to run past them no matter what! The first man smiled and said hello to me, I smiled (possibly grimaced) back and said hello to him. The others just ran past looking like they were having to put in no effort at all. I somehow, just about, ran 1.5 miles without stopping to walk.
I walked home, sat down and rather than being happy I had run 1.5 miles without walking, I was so disappointed that I hadn’t been able to do 2 miles. I am definitely my own worst critic and too hard on myself. I even had a little cry because I had a total ‘I cannot run a half marathon’ moment. I felt like what I had done today wasn’t good enough. I wasn’t good enough.
I know how silly this sounds when I still have lots of training time and considering how far I have come already. I think I was just having one of those days.
I’m going out on another run tomorrow morning. No crying this time. After all I’m out there doing it and I’m doing ok. I want to enjoy running. I don’t want to cry.
I think running past 1.5 miles is more a mental than physical thing. I just hope I can push past everything I feel when I get close to 1.5 miles.
I made myself a list of things to tell myself when I need a boost. I got this idea from the lovely Joanna Barlow on Twitter. I really hope it helps.
Thank you for reading all of my rambles.
I’m raising money for The Matt Hampson Foundation by taking part in 2016 Adidas Silverstone Half Marathon. If you would like to sponsor me visit www.virginmoneygiving.com/KimberleyMiles
To find out more about the Matt Hampson Foundation please visit: http://matthampsonfoundation.org/